GOLDEN WEDDING ANNIVERSARY: PIX VI + HER STORY

MOSEBOLATAN ADETORO GIVING VOTE OF THANKS










HER STORY:
"MY HUSBAND IS A LOVER, A WONDERFUL MAN" Mrs. Francisca Bamidele Adetoro

“My name is Mrs. Francisca Bamidele Adetoro. I used to be Francisca Bamidele Ayo. I was born in 1936. I trained as a teacher. In those days, when you were a girl it was the headmaster of your school who determined your career, whether you would be a nurse or a teacher. Those were the two careers open to young ladies in those days. My headmaster sent me to the WomenTeachers College Woko-Womu where I graduated from in 1954. I came to work in my town Mopa as a teacher (1954-1956). In 1956 I went to the Women Teachers College in Kabba for my Grade 2 Teachers Certificate Course and finished in 1958. Later when I was abroad with my husband, I did a course in Librarianship.

It was when I was teaching in Mopa that I first met my husband. That was in 1956. Those days, during the long holidays, young, eligible bachelors used to swarm all over town. I was not too impressed with their crowd. I was close to one of my colleagues, Dupe Fambo, now Mrs. Dupe Otokiti. She is a relative of Daddy. It was from her Daddy made enquiries about me. At first I was not keen on him despite his being a University undergraduate. When I finally thawed, he told me I was the first girl to refuse his advances.

I began to show interest in him when I saw that he was particularly interested in me and was ambitious. He came over to visit me in Ibadan and Odo-Oba. Of course my colleague Dupe was a great advocate of his. Another great advocate of his, was my uncle’s wife who happened to be his aunt.

By 1958, I had become very interested in him. He had gone abroad then for his post-graduate studies. I knitted a jacket for him and sent it over to him. When I was making the jacket, Cecilia Emagbaha my room mate used to tease me saying “Na wa o.”

By the special grace of God, there’s been no too difficult a time for us. I also believed that there should be no parental interference in marriage. The only time he reported me to my father, I refused to state my own side of the story. I commune with God a lot. From my college days, my mainstay has been 1st Corinthians 10:13: “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

I was inclined to rely so much on God and be prayerful because of the influence of my foster mother on me. Her name is Sarah Ajuyi. She was a half Hausa, half Fulani woman who lived in Jebba. I lost my mother very early in life and so my father Otunba Frederick Ayotola Joledo who was a Nigerian Railways Corporation staff then, used to take me along with him. When I was about 5 years old, my father left me with Sarah Ajuyi to bring me up. She was so good to me that I never knew she was not my biological mother until I was about 12 years old. I used to call her Maami. Maami was serious with her bible and very devoted.

My husband is very responsible and generous. He is very sentimental. Even now, he still buys me buns, scotch eggs and trebor. He doesn’t forget anniversaries and birthdays. My happiest time was when he declared that Christ is the only way to God. His hobby is reading and studying. He has taken over our sitting room and turned it upside down with books. I don’t argue or struggle with him. When he is angry, I am quiet. He tells some of his children, why can’t you be like mummy? But he is one man who is quick to say sorry when he realizes that he is wrong. And when I remember his terrible car accident in 1970 and recovery, I don’t argue too much with him.

I became a business woman with the encouragement of my cousin, Julius Joledo, now the Oba of our town. He used to tell me, “Auntie, is it this two to two kobo kobo job that you will be depending on?”

When my husband was in government (Federal Commissioner, 1967 to 1975), I made sure we never left the campus to live in the official quarters in Ikoyi. I used to tell him, “one day government work will finish, we should not start looking afresh then for accommodation.”

My husband was never a politician and was too blunt to be one. There was a time he even told off Awolowo (Late Chief Obafemi Awolowo) who was the Federal Commissioner for Finance in General Gowon’s cabinet. Awolowo was much older than my husband and hugely respected by all but my husband lost his temper with him and told him off because he thought the old man was unnecessarily delaying some much needed allowances needed for him to travel. Yet when he had his accident, Awolowo was the first Federal Commissioner to come to see him in the hospital and was always coming to see him. The first time he visited him, my husband was in a coma but Awolowo told me: “Iyawo, mo ti ri Tayo, yi o dide” (My dear, I have seen Tayo, (I assure you), he will live).

In the early years, it was an issue with my husband that we were having all girls until I got my obstetrician Professor Akingba to explain to him in detail that he in fact was the one responsible for the gender of the children; his attitude thereupon immediately changed and today, all his children have made him proud!

My friend is Mrs. Jegede. She is very tender hearted, though she may sound and look tough. She has been so supportive to our family. She comes to all our engagements. She’s the only one my children know as my friend here in Nigeria.”